teach 'em how to fish

( Wilson, Cynthia, 3 kids Danny, Isaac, and Jennifer plus Wilson's mom Gloria and son Samuel)

I went to visit my friend Cynthia the other day. She is 25, has 3 kids - 6,5, and 1 1/2 years old. They live in a leanto room off of her mother in-laws house and they share a kitchen with her. They have no running water. A year and a half ago we put a cement floor in their room and in the last 6 months they finally got electricity and a small fridge recently. They have one bed and a crib - 5 people. Cynthia works very hard to keep her house clean, wash the clothes by hand, heating up water to give her kids baths over the wood fire, walking her kids to school etc. A month ago I got a call late at night to take her to the DR's as she was in incredible pain and had been for 3 days - looks like it's something to do with her kidney and is still being examined. Her husband is not skilled in a profession and so it is very hard from him to find work. They do not have a great relationship and he does not like to put the money he does make into the kids school and clothes etc.

Why am I writing all this? Because many times we feel stuck. As North Americans we are 'rich' in Honduras. I could solve a lot of their problems by giving them $15 a week - that would be enough for their food and school supplies. So why don't I do that you ask? Well I ask myself the same question all the time -and sometimes I give into it and give them money, take them food or notebooks - like I will be doing this week. The thing is that they have been being helped financially for years and years by our friend Miranda and they are now dependent on help. They can't really make it on their own without help from someone - that's not a good place to be in. Someday I will move back to the States and then what will they do? Wilson and Cynthia are both intelligent and capable people and should be able to provide for their own family. The question is - the longer that we keep stepping in, the longer that they will not be working to take care of themselves. Do you see the dilemma? I can easily solve their problem temporarily - each week - but in the long run is that the best for them? Letting the Dad continue to not take responsibility for his family and what happens when we leave? Our goal here is to help people help themselves - not for people to not make it without us. So what do we do in a situation like this? Fight the urge to just give money, be their friends, give them odds jobs when we can, love on them, and sometimes give them some help.

My new goal for them is to find a way to help find them in a trade. A job that Cynthia could even do in her house so that she can care for her children at the same time. I'd rather find Wilson a job but I haven't had any grand ideas for him. So my new thought is sewing - I could buy her a machine and I found out that there are trade schools that teach sewing once a week starting in November for a year. I want to pay for her to get started - buy her a machine and pay for the classes and then she will have the ability to make her own money. What's the phrase - teach someone how to fish instead of giving them fish?

Please pray for me in this as I really want to make a long term difference for them as that they no longer have to be dependent. It must be so hard to be that poor. My heart breaks for them. I hope you see the dilemma and not think that I'm mean - I feel in between a rock and a hard spot. This is not the only family/person that we feel like this with - we face tough decisions all the time like this and all we can do is pray for wisdom each time and that God would show us what to do each time.